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What do Expectant Moms Look for in Adoptive Parents

Article from Creatingafamily.org by Dawn Davenport

expectant birth mom looks for in adoptive parents

A spoken or unspoken fear of many prospective adoptive parents is that they are not the type of family that will be chosen by expectant mothers—or that they will have to wait a long time to be chosen. What do expectant moms look for in adoptive parents?

We decided to go to the experts to get an answer to this question. We asked the Adoption Team at Children’s Connection Inc., who works with both expectant moms and adoptive parents, what expectant parents are looking for when choosing a family for their child.

One question that often arises is how expectant parents pick adoptive parents for their baby. There are several factors affecting how expecting moms and dads make this choice. Most often, the expectant mom chooses the adoptive parents but occasionally the expectant father is also involved in this process. Either way, they choose an adoptive family for a variety of reasons.

expectant moms look for in adoptive parents

What Do Expectant Moms Look for in Adoptive Parents?

There are as many reasons as there are moms looking for an adoptive family. Some may pick adoptive parents because of as something as specific as the family’s religion, careers, pictures provided in their photobook/profile, the fact that they do or do not have pets, or even the types of activities the family enjoys. Many times expectant parents are unable to verbalize the reason for choosing a specific family; they just know they were drawn to them.

Sometimes a family reminds the expectant parent(s) of their own family, the type of family they wish they had, or what their plans are once they have placed for adoption (plans to become a nurse or to go to college, for example). Some are looking for families who already have children and they see how they are being raised and want the same experience for their child. Others may prefer a childless couple or individual.

Where the adoptive parents live may also play a role. Expectant parents sometimes choose a family who lives close to where they live so they can see their baby more often, and others wish to choose a family in another state to keep from meeting at unexpected times. Other reasons an expectant parent may choose to match with an adoptive individual or couple are that the adoptive parent is a single parent, the couple has been waiting for an extended amount of time to be matched, the individual or couple is of a specific race, and some want to place with those who are less likely to match with other expectant parents such as same-sex couples. With all of that being said there is a match out there for everyone!

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